DISCLAIMER: This post contains spoilers from Episode 13 from WHYRU so if you haven’t watched, go do that first, then come back for the scoop.

I don’t know where to start, but let me just say this. I haven’t fallen in love with a show like this for a very long time. I was counting the days until each new episode with anticipation like a kid waiting for Christmas morning. It’s going to be hard to move on from this show. It really has become a part of my life, a spot of joy that I look forward to in a tough life situation. I don’t normally get into my personal life, but this is my safe space, my own little corner of the world, so I’m going to let you guys in on my life and what WHYRU has done for me, so that you can understand how much this show has meant to me. (If you want you can skip the next three paragraphs and go into the review, I promise I won’t judge you cause sometimes we all need to escape dealing with hard stuff)

Backstory time, lol. As you know from my Twitter bio, if you’ve come from there, I’m old (47) a mom of two teens, who loves bl. What you don’t know is that I have two boys. One is 16 and one is 17. My 17 year old has been fighting cancer on and off since he was 13 years old. He’s had a knee replacement, more chemo than you can count, half of his pelvis replaced, lung surgery and radiation. He’s a fighter. He really is. This year the hits just kept coming as in December of 2018 he began his fight again. We thought we were done December 2020 when they found tumors on his spine and shoulder. Radiation/chemo to keep things stable hasn’t worked, cancer spread. We are exploring last options to keep it at bay so he can travel the world again. During this time I needed an escape, something to help me through this really really rough time.

I’d been into BL for a while, enjoyed and loved many shows like Lovesick, Sotus, LBC, HISTORY series. And I really enjoyed them. But when WHYRU came along, it swept me away. I found myself lost in the story of Tutor and Fighter. They seemed so real to me. I felt their every emotion. It’s like they stepped out of a favorite novel and onto the screen. I found myself watching their story unfold with a level of obsession, delving into the nuances of meaning in their body language, their words, even the setting and people around them. And I found other people on twitter who seemed to understand this level of obsession. I am a writer by heart, librarian in a former life, so I love the written word very much. As you can probably guess, I haven’t tried to write anything in a long while. But this show motivated me to dust off my quill and put pen to paper, as it were. But I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings about this story with others, and thus my blog was born. Honestly I’ve not only fallen in love with the show, I’ve fallen in love with the people behind the show, and the people I’ve met, friends I’ve made on twitter.

I followed Saint since his LBC days and it hurt me to see what he went through after, so I was so happy to see Zee step into his life when he needed a shoulder to lean on and someone to lift him back up and support him. Zee has helped Saint and Saint has brought Zee out of his shell. During this hard time in my life, I have been impressed with the way Saint handles negativity and his faith in Buddhism. I didn’t know much about this as I was raised Southern Baptist (haven’t been that in a long time) but I found myself wondering about the concept of suffering and the concept of peace, and the concept of karma. I’m still learning. But I feel like learning about this has helped me really live in each moment because we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. Suffering happens, but you can also still find joy in things everyday. Be kind, compassionate, help others, give back. These are all things I strive towards now. And I’m teaching my kids this because whatever comes next (I believe I will meet again) the things you do now will affect your future. So I will follow Saint with love and support no matter what road he takes because I’m forever grateful to him for these things I’ve learned.

OK – Enough for now. Thanks for reading if you did, and if you didn’t thats ok cause it’s time to start the review. Hugs.

Where we left off: Tutor looked up to see Fighter standing in the doorway with a suitcase next to him, a smile on his face. Tutor looked shocked because the person he most wanted to see that his heart was yearning for, appeared before his eyes like a mirage. This next scene is so important to both Tutor and Fighter.

WHYRU….here? 😁

Let’s break this down, shall we? First question Tutor wants to know is how are you here? To which Fighter answer’s Zon. Next question is the obvious one, whyru here? To which Fight says he’ll answer that later. What’s important to to talk to the person in front of him. To really talk which is what they should have done a long time ago.

Fighter asks Tutor point blank why didn’t you tell me about what was going on with my dad? He wants to know why Tutor didn’t confide in him, why he was kept in the dark and pushed away without knowing the reason? These are legitimate questions that he does deserve the answers too. However, i still am not happy we don’t get an apology for Fighter going off the deep end, but maybe Tutor has forgiven him because of his tenderness and care when he was sick. I can only assume that was Fighter’s apology and Tutor’s acceptance was the palm curling into Fighter’s hand and Tutor clinging to him for comfort when sick. I guess in this situation they didn’t need the words.

Tutor decides to answer Fighter honestly, and I’m glad for this. There has been too much miscommunication between them. Tutor didn’t want to cause a fight between them. He was trying to protect Fighter and also protect Fighter and his father’s relationship. But now that Fighter knows, there is no point in denying it.

Fighter tells Tutor an honest truth back. We fought harder because I didn’t know until later what had happened. So in essence he blamed his dad for causing a rift, but rightly so, he also blames Tutor because he went through so much pain and suffering before finding out the truth. When he learned about his dad, it set him off into a rage because it all could have been avoided if they had all three communicated properly. Tutor apologizes and asks if he’s ok. Fighter point outs his dad has a heavy hand. Letting Tutor know it came to blows between them. He wasn’t trying to make Tutor feel bad, but wanted him to know how serious it had gotten. Tutor apologizes again, shocked and a little worried about Fighter until Fighter says I’m ok now.

Next comes the WHYRU here question, lol. I love how they put this in here as a nice wink and nod to the title of the show. Fighter smiles gently and asks “Can’t I come see you?” He wants Tutor to know he still cares, he still loves him. This is his way of telling Tutor you are so important to me I came running to you as soon as I could.

You can see that Tutor is happy, but still worried. Things haven’t changed other than Fighter knowing his dad is against them. Tutor tells Fighter that he’s still worried about it. This is a big step for Tutor who is sharing his worry instead of keeping it on the inside, hiding it away only for him to deal with alone. He’s opening up, asking Fighter once again what are we going to do about your dad?

Fighter is prepared. With a sigh, he reaches into his pocket, pulling out his phone. He unlocks, it pulls up a screen and hands the phone to Tutor. Tutor takes the phone and presses play, nervous about what he will hear.

Fighter’s dad appears on screen with the warmest smile we’ve seen on this man yet. He says hello to Tutor and apologizes for what he had done to Tutor. He tells Tutor that he wants his son to be happy and to please take care of him. He smiles and ends the message. We see his smile fade a little as reality sets in for him. It may not be what he hoped for his son’s future, but his son’s happiness and his son’s future are tied to Tutor, so he smiles a little sadly, but overall he’s accepting and he will support their relationship from now on. He wants to have a relationship with his son. And it’s finally going to happen, even if that relationship looks different than he expected. I feel hopeful for the two of them, especially with Tutor’s taming influence on Fighter’s behavior.

Now on to a confession, discussion and resolution for Fighter and Tutor.

You are my happiness

This scene is so beautiful. Fighter asks him if they can go back and be each other’s happiness again? Tutor smiles gently and takes ahold of Fighter’s hand once more, curling his fingers around Fighter’s. Fighter leans in, standing on his tiptoes (I love this about them, they are both so tall) to place a tender kiss on Tutor’s forehead. There are so many mirrors to other episodes that I will show you once I finish talking about this scene. Fighter is telling Tutor that he is still Fighter’s most precious person with this sweet gesture.

Fighter swallows back tears as he once again takes his loves hand into his own, holding them gently. He wants to make sure Tutor understands what it means this time. He asks Tutor, will you promise to tell me when something happens? Because you are not alone anymore. I will be beside you forever. Fighter wants him to know that he’s not going to let go ever again. He isn’t giving Tutor the way out like he did last time, he’s certain he won’t let Tutor go again.

Tutor’s heart is full of joy as he hears the promise in Fighter’s words. Fighter will always be beside him. He is lonely and alone no longer. He makes the promise to Fighter that he will keep for the rest of their lives. Because that’s what they are doing in this moment. They are making wedding vows to each other, ones they will keep no matter the obstacles that come their way.

Tutor leans in and kisses Fighter, happy to be reunited with his happiness once more. And then the camera pans left, showing the pair of happy matchmaker’s looking at them fondly, glad their friends are once again happy in their love.

Sigh. I freakin love this damn show. It makes me happy. Even writing this, rewatching clips, I’m smiling like a loon, sighing over kisses. It’s so romantic.

Here’s a tribute montage of moments they referenced in this scene. I love them for this. It ties things in so tightly together, like weaving different threads together to make a wonderful quilt.

The shoulder caress
Tutor reaches out – holding on
You are so precious to me – kiss
I Won’t Let Go Of Your Hand

As you can see, the parallels are quite beautiful. They’ve put so much thought into symmetry, symbolism, figurative and literal, it truly amazes me. P’Chewin you are a master class director in my eyes. You have an artistic flare that simply shines through in this series. I can’t wait to see more from you.

We have next the playing at the beach montage, and I love that Tutor has stopped caring about other people and what they think. He is truly living in the moment enjoying playing with his love once again. Fighter brought joy back to Tutor. And Fighter has the ultimate happy face as he can shower his love with affection and make his lover smile and laugh. There is no greater joy to be had than that.


A few more parallels for you! I know you might get tired of them. I just love to see them together, it shows their progression as a couple.

Then they have a lovely dinner with their friends inside this docked boat picnic area in front of the house they are renting. It is of course served on proper plates, and they are drinking wine from stemware. I don’t know about where you live, but this has to be the most unrealistic portrayal of college kids at the beach near where I live, lol. Most college kids eat pizza off paper plates, and beer from cans or red Solo cups. They must be more cultured in Thailand. 😂😂

I have to say I died laughing at the product placement of the powder for Saint’s nose before they take a picture together…..Best Product Placement Ad Ever!!!! 😂😂😂

Then they sit there drinking wine in front of their condo, teasing each other like friends do. Saifah remarks that they all started out hating one another. This was never the case for Fighter though, as he always knew he felt something special for Tutor. Then Tutor says this line like well it started out hate, but ended in love. Fighter leans over and says Sorry my boyfriend is so cheesy! 😁 I love it. Of course Tutor wouldn’t be Tutor if he didn’t say “Who’s my boyfriend?” to which Fighter replies “More than brothers, but less than boyfriends?” with a cheesy grin. Of course Saifah has to pick on them saying they sure are a sulky couple. That is so true Saifah….😁 Also can’t help but notice the parallel of that being said and Saint saying he and Zee were brothers in the live they did today. Sure Saint….sure. We believe you, brothers that are handsy with each other and like to kiss a lot. Doesn’t sound like brothers I know, but 🤷‍♀️😁

It was lovely to see Saifah Zon in their beginning stage of love and the old married couple on their second honeymoon. It did crack me up when Zon teased them they’d get pregnant from the stares that Tutor and Fighter were giving each other.

🤰👀 😏

Zon and Saifah depart for their room, leaving Tutor and Fighter alone once again.

Tutor actually tells Fighter that he missed him that morning he woke up and Fighter was gone. Fighter is shocked so of course he made Tutor say it again. Then he puts his hand on Tutor’s thigh and says something like, if you missed me so much we can make up for it. Cheesy.

There are a few parallels, like feeding each other again, but even cuter this time. And who’s my boyfriend thing again.

They decide to retire for the night, which means lovely *boom boom* time (looking at you Jowan 😁) Just going to put the whole damn clip in here cause it is so 🔥🔥🔥🔥, make sure you have some water cause you are gonna be 🥵🥵🥵 after watching this. Not lying to you. I’ll break it down and talk about it afterwards.

I didn’t know I had a necklace kink until now….😁

Let’s start off by saying that Fighter really loves the kabedon (used a ton in Japanese dramas). It gets his motor cranked which is why when he used to “tease Tor” he did it a bunch. But this time, Tutor is wise to him, so he plays along with the, you like it like this, don’t you? Teasing Tutor lounging back on the bed with a come hither smile, like, ok, you many worship me is super hot. Got to say that. And Fighter kissing his way up Tutor’s body is the first way they ever made love, so we know it works for both of them, lol. Gotta say my eyes bugged out a little at this image.

I don’t know that’s faking cause it looks def like a kiss there to me. Just saying. 😳

Then we get the lovely line of “Can I take back what’s mine?” From Fighter. I love that it’s a question not a statement. He doesn’t assume, he asks, I freakin love the consent in this show. I love the communication in the bedroom. Honestly it’s sexy as hell. More shows should do this.

After being kissed on, you see the idea flash across Tutor’s mind as he get’s this mischievous smile on his face. He says in the super soft sexy voice that will grant him anything he asks for “If you want to take back ownership of what’s yours, may I show my ownership as well?” After saying this, he flips Fighter over onto his back, looking down at him, waiting for an answer. It’s not just Fighter who wants to prove their love again. Tutor wants to shower Fighter with his love, claiming him as his own.

Fighter wouldn’t refuse, and he smiles as he agrees. He’s man enough to give Tutor what he wants. He also trusts Tutor enough to give up control. He’s proven that many times in their NC scenes. Mostly Tutor leads Fighter around and he likes it that way. So he doesn’t mind being on the receiving side. I love the switch that flips in Tutor as he gets aggressive, telling him “I can” as he pushes Fighter’s shoulders down. Of course, it’s Tutor so instead of sliding to the lips, he skirts to the side and hit’s Zee’s – um I mean Fighter’s hot spots. We hear Z/Fighter moan as he really really likes neck kisses and Adam’s apple kisses. 🔥🔥

The look of a happy man

Then we have the fun parallel of the frantic shirt takeoff scene. And of course Tutor does the sexy shirt throw. Then kisses him pushing him back down. More kisses as things heat up, then Tutor sits up,

Nice look there!

Ok, not going to lie right here, I might be a little to obsessed with how well these NC scenes are done cause um, science. Yeah, its in the name of science. And I have to tell you that men can’t really hide if they like something, its very obvious. And Zee’s white pants and Saints green shorts don’t leave much to the imagination. Just sayin. Ok. I’m just going to drop these pics here and be ashamed for a minute or two.

He’s going take off his shirt. Boy don’t play around cause he means business as he is ready to go.

Well, sir my eyes are not there….🔥🔥

The comes the worship of Tutor’s torso. Which seems to be one of Z/Fighter’s favorite things. And the hottest thing ever when he picks up the dog tag with his tongue, holding it in his mouth. Tutor leans in and they pass the dog tag back and forth amidst super sexy kissing that is so amazing, it should win best kiss. Seriously. Tutor has it last, lets it drop to his chest and leans in to take possession of Fighter’s mouth once more before he takes possession of Fighter.

SLO MO – You’re Welcome😁

Whew. Go get some water people.

I just realized this blog is as bipolar as my mood today, so I’m sorry about it. I get into some heavy shit in the first few paragraphs, then wax poetical about the love and beauty of the show, then end with thirsty hours…..sorry for the bumpy ride, folks. And thanks to the wonderful twitter friend Jo Jin @crazyxiaoyang we have a newly formed group called BLThirstyMamas cause we are what we say….😁. Love you all. Might get part 3/4 done tomorrow but its 3:45am and I’m posting and going to bed. If you find any errors please tell me and I’ll fix them tomorrow. 🤗💕😘 – Jen